How Did I Pursue an Autism Diagnosis as an Adult

Naturally, Google is the go-to source for discovering anything, from how to brush your teeth (yes, there's a right way!) to what is the smallest thing in the world (spoiler: it's not your neighbour's sense of humour). Just a quick note: this isn't an endorsement of any particular search engine—unless Google decides to throw some cash my way for supporting my digital voyage to Heal Out Loud. In that case, I’d gladly list the benefits of Google, including its ability to remind you that you’ve forgotten to water your cactus for the third week in a row!

I simply wanted to mention that other search engines are available for information on autism diagnosis, especially if you're in different parts of the world. You know, places where Google might be too preoccupied with figuring out why you searched for “why is a red panda not a panda?” (It’s because they’re too busy being adorable to care about labels!)

Alternatively, you can embrace the traditional approach to learning by visiting a library for your pursuit of information on the autism spectrum. Just be ready to sidestep the occasional person who doesn't mind invading personal space. While you're there, you can also relish the nostalgic scent of old books (if you're that way inclined).

I personally prefer the comfort of my home, surrounded by soft stuff, ideal temperature, comfortable lighting and a meticulously organised desk, as I pursue my autism diagnosis. It's important to note that I have a passion for research and can become somewhat (or very) obsessive about topics I invest into. Thus, I intentionally decided to concentrate my initial research on three areas: definitions of autism, autism diagnosis, and insights from real-life autistic adults who kindly shared their lived experiences.

To avoid becoming overly fixated on every detail of autism knowledge, I applied the management skills I developed in the tech industry for my initial research. This involved an agile methodology known as timeboxing, which sets a time limit for each task, and in this case, for each relevant topic.

At first, I found the large amount of different information daunting as I was still trying to come to terms with the concept of being autistic. I was not only unaware, but the question of what it meant to be diagnosed with autism lingered longer than necessary. Additionally, the influence of my Asian upbringing often resurfaced, suggesting that "there's no use in discovering more about it, since I'm simply not allowed to be different, and it would just be seen as a defect that needed correction." This belief hasn't gone away yet, but I'm taking it one step at a time.

This reminds me of when I frequently changed my hair colour, prompting my family to doubt my sense of responsibility and judgement. They disapproved of the change in appearance and the attention the vibrant colours attracted. I didn't understand their disapproval, which made me uneasy, yet I showed up with a new shade regardless and ensured I did it every time I returned home. So, if you're in a similar situation, don't worry—go ahead, explore for yourself, and ignore the noise.

The Quest for Autism Diagnosis in Adults Continues

After doing some intense Googling (within the timebox), I found a tonne of resources for diagnosing autism in children, primarily focusing on boys and their common autistic traits. This made me think I might have missed the boat and needed to prepare to build a raft and mourn for Wilson once again. I hadn't realised how much the topic depends on the individual's age and gender, plus the complexities involved in diagnosing autism in adults. If only I could create a time machine to help my young self. I'd zip back to my childhood, armed with a diagnostic questionnaire and my fur baby. "Fear not, young me! I bring wisdom from the future, and also steamed baos!".

To clarify, I didn't invent a time machine (I wish), although quantum mechanics are much more fascinating than the research I encountered at that stage. After some resistance, I began using certain keywords that Google algorithm might recognise to help me in finding the necessary information, such as:

• Autism diagnosis for adults

• Getting a diagnosis for autism in adulthood

• How to get tested for autism as an adult

• How do I find out if I am an autistic adult

• Autism developmental disorder in adults

• Autism spectrum test for adults

• Autism in adult women

• Autistic women

• Female autism test

• Show me a brilliant autistic woman now

I may have gone overboard with keywords for a little while, as I didn't expect encountering discrimination in neuroscience—a field that should rely on objective facts. At one point, I began categorising and counting the number of research focused on women with autism compared to those on men. My black-and-white thinking digressed into the justice aspect of the topic, and I soon realised an obsession started to creep in during my pursuit of an autism diagnosis. I needed to remind myself that I had taken a break from my business to find answers about the exhaustion, sensory issues, loss of skills that I was experiencing, but the hyperfixation was looping, and I persisted into my burnout.

I needed to conduct research to find the appropriate help, but it was also worsening my condition. I was struggling to see a way out of the exhaustion and wondered if I hadn't tried hard enough with the research, as I should have found an answer by now. My struggles were so visible that my husband thought I was depressed and suggested I see a doctor. However, visiting a doctor isn't as easy as it sounds, and I've always avoided it unless I'm unable to move or something is seriously wrong. There are so many aspects of medical environments and treatments that I dislike, which prevented me from visiting my GP, convinced that I needed to gather enough research to support my theory. Because, you know, nothing says “I’m ready for a check-up” like a PowerPoint presentation on my symptoms! Who knew that researching my disorders would turn into an Olympic sport?

The Gloomy Discovery of My Research on Autism Diagnosis

Resources about autism often carry a negative tone, focusing on the challenges, struggles, and limitations associated with being autistic. This led me to realise that even if I wasn't initially depressed, reading about how flawed I am perceived to be if formally diagnosed with autism would likely lead to depression. It's like winning a prize for the "Most Flawed Human" that I didn't even know I was nominated for.

As I navigate the whirlwind of gender bias in autism research, where it seems like they’re still trying to figure out if boys are just more "autistic" or if girls are just better at hiding it. I wasn't aware that a competition was necessary for an autism diagnosis. Do we at least get a gold medal if we win? What's more, the stereotype of autistic traits associated with the developmental disorder are not helping. If I had a pound for every time I saw “loves trains” on that list, I could probably rival Richard Branson! “Oh, you don’t like trains or you're not a boy? Sorry, you must be neurotypical and can't be the CEO of the powerhouse!”

Then there’s the noticeable age discrimination in the diagnostic process. It’s as if the medical professionals are saying, “Oh, you’re over 20? Sorry, we only take diagnoses from people under 10. You’re clearly too old to be quirky!” You're also “too seasoned” for our liking. This has quickly led my tendency to overthink to lose faith in receiving an accurate diagnosis. Stuck in outdated stereotypes, I began to worry about being dismissed by medical professionals or continuously undermined due to their lack of understanding of the autism spectrum.

Ah, this has refreshed my childhood memories! They’re like a box of chocolates, but instead of smooth truffles, I got a side of shame for being left-handed. In my Asian family, a girl using her left hand was akin to committing a crime against humanity. Every time I dared to pick up chopsticks with my left hand, it was like I was waving a flag of rebellion. I could almost hear the dramatic music playing in the background as I prepared for the inevitable punishment for being born left-handed. I can still recite the scolding: "Why are you so strange? Just be normal like your right-handed brother?" every time my left hand instinctively reached for those chopsticks.

So here I am, reflecting on the absurdity of it all. Whether it’s the stigma surrounding autism or the trauma of being left-handed in a right-handed world, I’ve learned to embrace my quirks. After all, if the world is going to judge me for being different, I might as well give them a good laugh while I’m at it! Let’s celebrate our unique traits and find humour in the criticism. Because if we can’t laugh at ourselves, we might just end up crying over a bowl of rice, struggling to pick it up with chopsticks—left-handed, of course!

The negative findings from the research contributed to my (autistic) burnout, causing further delays in receiving an autism diagnosis and understanding my conditions. This was certainly not an easy experience for me, but when burnout is at its peak, the vicious cycle of life's accumulating demands becomes very tangible. It is disabling. At this point, my burnout was so intense that even my to-do list started filing for a restraining order. Here I go to embrace the couch potato lifestyle again!

In the end, it’s important to remember that while there are challenges, there are also plenty of strengths, fascinations, talents, curiosities and unique perspectives that come with being autistic. After all, who else can easily memorise the most obscure facts about nutritions while simultaneously having a meltdown over a missing spatula?

Finding Hope in the Autism Diagnosis Maze

Despite all the challenges involved in navigating the autism diagnosis process, I’ve managed to stumble upon a treasure trove of resources that are like GPS directions in a corn maze, for those of us trying to navigate the complexities of autism spectrum disorder ( I was among the lost souls). The path to diagnosis can seem like trying to solve a Rubik's Cube blindfolded—daunting, perplexing, and you might just end up throwing it across the room in frustration, along with your slipper.

It’s full of uncertainties and questions that make you think you’ve wandered into a riddle contest hosted by a particularly mischievous red panda. So, while the journey might resemble a wild rollercoaster ride, these resources offer validation and help ensure you don’t lose your slipper—or your mind—in the process. Embrace the chaos, grab those resources, and let’s transform this confusing adventure into an amusing exploration of understanding autism!

In addition to diagnostic information, there are support networks, educational materials, and community organisations available to help individuals and families connect with others who share similar experiences. National Autistic Society is a great starting point for exploration. They promote understanding of autism and offer a platform for people to share their stories, challenges, and successes. Sharing this information empowers others on a similar path, ensuring they don't feel isolated in their quest for clarity. Ultimately, if we’re all in this crazy boat together, we might as well paddle in sync and sprinkle in a few jokes to keep Wilson nearby!

Furthermore, raising awareness about autism is crucial in cultivating greater inclusivity within our society. By sharing these resources, we can encourage open conversations that challenge misconceptions and enhance understanding of autism. This initiative is not just about providing information; it aims to build a culture of acceptance and support that recognises the unique strengths and challenges faced by individuals on the autism spectrum. Together, we can work towards a more inclusive world where everyone is valued and understood, fostering an environment that celebrates diversity and encourages growth for all. Let's be honest, a world without diversity is like yum cha without dim sums—just plain wrong!

The Ten-Step Process for My Autism Diagnosis

So, you've started to wonder if there are explanations for the quirks you've always noticed in yourself, and you're curious about whether you might be on the autism spectrum. Well, fear not! Here's a whimsical guide to help you navigate the great wild world of autism diagnosis. The ten steps outlined below represent the simplified version of the method that helped me receive my autism diagnosis. Whether you're a human, a friendly alien, or a confused red panda wanting to explore the differences you've experienced, these steps will guide you through the process with a touch (no touching please) of humour.

Step 1: Embrace the Quirks - Reduce Demands and Sensory Inputs

First things first: own your unique traits! Whether you have a fascination with collecting stamps or can recite the entire periodic table backwards, celebrate it! Remember, normal is just a setting on a washing machine! Think of it as creating your own personal bubble, where you can explore comfortably and the only sound is the gentle rustle of leaves. Or perhaps just the sound of your own thoughts, which can be a mixed bag!

Step 2: Google Like There's No Tomorrow - Research about Autism Spectrum

Time to hit the internet (no actual violence in the making of this research)! Be careful not to dive too deeply, or you might just end up on a conspiracy theory about how bees are secretly running the world, and then enlisting in their army. Stay focused and avoid getting drawn into the vortex of negative findings; these are distractions, not diagnoses.

Step 3: Self-Assessment Time!

Utilise autism self-assessment tools online. Answer the questions honestly. If you find yourself wondering, “Why aren't these questions more detailed? or How can I precisely answer to such vague questions?” then congratulations, you might just be on the spectrum! These self-assessment questionnaires are like personality quizzes but without the risk of discovering you’re actually a bao.

Step 4: Discover and Learn From the Insights of Autistic Individuals

Gather your troops that you never knew you had, and relish the awakening moments while snacking on a brioche. This approach really helped me find the much needed validations, allowing me to relate for the first time and be understood by my fellow aliens. It's like finally finding that one meme that perfectly captures your life.

Step 5: Seek Professional Help (Not the “I’m Hearing Voices” Kind)

Look for autism screening and assessment services. Depending on your location, this could be as easy as finding a coffee shop or as complicated as locating a unicorn riding on a rainbow. Good luck! Seriously though, if you're in the UK, you have the option of using the NHS or private autism diagnostic and assessment services. The National Autistic Society offers plenty of helpful and relevant information about the autism spectrum.

Step 6: Prepare for the Diagnostic Process Like You Love Yourself

The process can be intimidating, it's like being probed and tested with seemingly impossible tasks. It's highly recommended to have your fur baby or a fluffy cushion for comfort during tough times. Bonus points if your pet is also a therapy animal and can woof at the perfect moments, especially when you're asked to provide a list of your quirks and weirdness, or when you're baffled by flying frogs!

Step 7: Send the Bat Signal to Your Doctor

It's time to reach out to the professionals, whether it's a general practitioner, therapist, or psychologist. Share your experience and request for a referral. This step is crucial if you are still interested in a formal diagnosis, though be ready for the possibility that the doctor might be as puzzled as if you asked them to explain quantum physics. And let’s not forget the classic scenario: after just a couple of minutes of listening, they might whip out a prescription. “Antidepressants? Sure, why not! Here’s some for your dog too, just in case!”

Oh, and if you’re in London like I was, you might have the pleasure of submitting an online medical consultation request. It’s like filling out a form for a new savings account, but instead of getting a high interest rate, you just get to request an appointment for a referral with the slight chance of qualifying for further assessments. Exciting, right?

Step 8: Exercise Great Patience

Ah, the art of patience! It's like admiring a kettle to boil, except there is no switch and you’re pretty sure it’s just a decoration. You will experience a waiting period for the specialists to contact you with additional forms, allowing you to ponder whether this is a wise decision.

In the meantime, I suggest approaching the initial autism assessment questionnaires with the mentality of ticking boxes (who doesn't enjoy checking off a list?), while appreciating the lack of precise information needed for an accurate decision. It’s like a scavenger hunt, but instead of finding treasure, you’re discovering your own sanity (or lack thereof).

Step 9: The Present Arrived

Again, you'll experience some waiting. After qualifying for further assessment, you'll get the AAS assessment pack. Yes, you heard that right—more autism assessment questionnaires! Think of it as receiving a welcome pack for a highly exclusive club that requires not just your soul, but also a mountain of paperwork. Bring a water jug and snacks! Seriously, you might want to pack a full picnic—this is not just a questionnaire; it’s an epic saga of your life.

Consider it a chance to showcase your dissertation writing skills, even if your recent writing has only been a grocery list. “Dear esteemed clinicians, I present to you my magnum opus: ‘Eggs, Oatly, and the Search for the Perfect Avocado!’” Who knew that your grocery list could double as a literary masterpiece? Just remember, if you start quoting Shakespeare while filling out the questionnaires, you might want to take a break and grab a snack. You’ve earned it!

Step 10: Keep Being You

The autism assessment process involves a few stages to truly understand who you are, so it's important to keep being you. While it may be challenging, especially for those skilled at masking, being authentic is the best way to find the answers you seek. This is the moment when you officially receive an invitation to join the community, complete with a badge that says, “I’m different, and that’s maybe okay!”

No matter the result, stay true to yourself. Celebrate your uniqueness, and remember, the world needs all kinds of quirks. After all, who else will make the universe interesting?

So there you have it! Follow these ten steps, and you’ll be well on your way to understanding yourself better. And remember, whether you’re human or alien or a red panda, it’s okay to be a little odd!

The Most Important Takeaway (Not Edible) from My Autism Diagnosis Process

As I mentioned in my earlier articles, I was experiencing an extreme autistic fatigue and burnout when the epiphany appeared, which made Step1: Embrace the Quirks - Reduce Demands and Sensory Inputs, especially important for me. Although I didn't realise then that the sensory issues and loss of skills were connected to autism, I knew the need of addressing them immediately, as they were seriously impacting my daily functioning. I would suggest taking this step regardless of your experience, since the autism assessment process can be quite demanding, and having safeguards in place would make it less taxing.

In particular, while filling out the comprehensive autism assessment questionnaire, I became quite ill because I didn't understand my sensory needs, and this persisted for months afterward. So, to spare you the same fate, I suggest setting up some basics for your own venture. Here’s a list of things you might consider for creating your own dedicated area for research and form completion:

• Soft and gentle lighting (because harsh lighting is for interrogation rooms, and nobody needs a spotlight on their identity crisis)

• Adjust the screen brightness for your devices (unless you enjoy squinting)

• Noise-cancelling headphones (perfect for tuning out the world)

• Comfortable temperature (not too hot, not too cold—but don't spend all day on it)

• Neutral scent (nobody likes the smell of leftovers)

• An agreeable chair (since a truly comfortable chair is yet to be found)

• Cosy blanket for when the toes get cold (being a burrito could be your style too)

• Prepare enough water and meals in advance (because hyperfocus might assume control)

• No distractions (daydreaming is perfectly fine, just don’t accidentally sign up for a llama yoga class)

By implementing these basics, you can create a shelter for your research and form-filling needs that won’t leave you feeling like you just ran a marathon in a sensory obstacle course!

Additionally, reducing life's demands might also be your biggest challenge, given the responsibilities of adulthood and the dependence others may have on you. However, allow yourself the flexibility to discover the answers you need to stay informed, as this might be the revelation that transforms your life—like realising you've NEEDED noise-cancelling headphones all along!